“And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God.”
This morning I woke as I do most every morning, stiff and sore, sleeping in my recliner. I move there almost every night after I endure as much stiffness and soreness as I can after sleeping in my bed; rotator tears, years of physical work and arthritis is catching up with me. Sometimes I make my coffee first other times I begin pray first. Today I made my coffee, sat down and began to pray/stare out my window in meandering but lucid conversations with God.
As I did I noticed the most wonderful details. Framed by the lacquered wooden pane was a dreary gray sky that was broken up on the top right side by wavering tree tops. Lower and filling out the frame were the rooftops all made of ceramic tiles with their weathered hues colored by dirt and moss, then the pitted and grayed aluminum rain gutters, some not able to do their job any longer. Lower still I saw the tops of my wintered vegetable garden constructed from weather beaten wood, chicken wire and bailing wire mostly recycled from old material left over from our reconstruction project from almost fifteen years ago.
Lastly were the frozen remnants of annuals still in their cast-off rain gutter planters from the same project not yet moved to the compost pile. As I spoke to the Lord I thanked him for this ever changing vista He is giving, for the season change from fall to the fast approaching winter chill, I asked that if He should tarry to continue to give me wisdom and strength to preach the gospel. I thanked Him for my wife and children and began to pray for their needs, for my immediate family back in the states in varying degrees of a relationship with Him and for our churches and pastors here in Kecskemet.
My mind then went to an anticipated conversation I had set up with a pastor friend of mine in the states. I earnestly prayed for this conversation, for wisdom on both of our parts to seek and be in His will. I picked up my bible and turned to Proverbs 4. I read a proverb every day from a different translation every year. I highlight certain verses or parts of verses the first time though and then meditate on them every month the rest of the year. Today I read these;
Get wisdom, get understanding; Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get undrstnding I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. …listen closely to my words. for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. Above all else, guard your heart,…
It was at this time I uttered the words of Thomas, My Lord and my God. I thanked Him for this reminder today as there is much going on in the family, the ministry and much hoped for in my later conversation that requires much wisdom, that may need great understanding from which I may need to guard my heart. Then I simply said I love you Lord. Those simple words caused a well of thanksgiving. These are not easy words to say from a man who struggles to relearn love; divine, agape love. I thanked the Lord for the work He has done and is doing in my heart, for the evidence of the Holy Spirit in my life. He continues to change me as I ever stumble along. Thank you, thank you…my Lord and my God!
…just a thought